Oh Phone Go Away!!!

"Okay! Phone this person." she said.
"I can't," I said.
"Why not?" she asked, "it's only a phone..."

It's only a phone...
A bloody phone!
A bleeping,
Blarping,
Farting phone!

It rings,
It causes fear.
I dial,
My nerves take over.
Who's gonna answer?
What do I say?
Will I breakdown?

OH PHONE GO AWAY!!!

Now they're mobile.
Now they're smart.
More to go wrong;
More to go fart!

Fucking phones!
I'm scared as hell!
Nasty calls;
Nice ones as well!

OH PHONE GO AWAY!!!!


J R A Gigney (30 April 2012)

Pharmaceutical Godzilla

Bring me the mood chiller,
The pain killer,
That pharmaceutical Godzilla,
That steering tiller.

Bring me the head thumper,
That mood bumper,
The cozy jumper,
That pharmaceutical de-lumper.

Bring me a mood I can choose,
One that will ooze,
Not one that will bruise,
Not one I can lose.

Hold me within your palm,
So I'll be calm,
Wrapped in your charm,
So I do no harm...

J R A Gigney (30 April 2012)


• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.