Hotline

"Hello you have reached The Nervous Breakdown Rescue Service Hotline. To make your experience better please choose from the following options.

Press 1 if you are having emotional difficulties.
Press 2 if you are having traumatic flashbacks.
Press 3 if you are having mild panic attacks.
Press 4 if you are having other panic attacks.
Press 5 if you are scared of yourself.
Press 6 if you are having dark thoughts
Press 7 if you want to speak to another machine.
Press 8 if you wish to speak to a human being.
Press 9 if you wish the options repeated.
Press # if you are a complete and utter nervous wreck
by now
Or just hang on, we'll trace your call and send someone with a straitjacket..."



JRAG (16 April 2014)