Morphine Reduction - A feelings Diary

Morphine Reduction Update

27th October 2011

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

Yup my body is protesting like f@&£ (pardon my symbolic language) and I'm so damn jittery. I'm getting pain where I didn't know I could get pain and it's hard to get my muscles going at the moment. There's some dizziness too, and if anyone moans at me today they're likely to get their head bitten off (gggrrrooowwwl).

Oh yeah I feel like crying all the time too...

Why did they give me this bloody drug? I just wish I could dump all of the stuff I take and just be a relatively abnormal human with a weird sense of humour, a lot of love to give (that's always there whatever) and useful to people. Right now I feel useless and very alone. I'm stuck in this drug induced hell with nowhere to go but up or down and right now down looks good whilst up Is a steep climb... Better try going up then...


• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

The Oramorph Strikes Back

Lucy in the sky with diamonds,
Sitting on a rudder made of cheese.
Never ever ever looking backwards,
Cigarettes are making her a-wheeze.

Mary Mary quite contrary,
Was the lamb you ate called "Peas"?
Was that a fart that I detected,
Floating lightly up upon the breeze...?

Little Boy Blue have you got a horn,
On which to play your favourite jazz.
Have you been crying? Those are red eyes I see,
Or have you just been out on the razz?

Rock-A-Bye-Baby up in a tree,
Will all the blackbirds mind?
Or are they in pies and now not free,
Oh quiet baby do be kind!

• Poem updated by J R A Gigney 24 October 2011

Morphine Reduction Update, 24 October 2011

Trying not to sound like a Royal Bulletin here. Right the next drop of dose is nigh. Tomorrow (25 October) I drop to 80mg per day (40mg morning, 40mg evening). I'm apprehensive because this was as far as I got the last time I tried to do a reduction of dosage.

Well we shall see!


• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

Cat Food

Why is some cat food so horribly smelly?
This is the thing they don't say on the telly!
You open the pouch and the smell hits your nose.
I challenge you your stomach contents not to dispose...


• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

Morphine Reduction: Friday 14 October 2011

I'm stiff all over, bloody emotional and to make matters worse my dad ran over one of our cats' hind left leg/foot and he disappeared before I could catch him. I can't find him. I feel so down right now :(

Decided to keep people up to date just in case they have to go through this.

Didn't get much slerp the past two nights either and three piles of console games in their boxes fell on my legs two nights ago so I'm in a bit of pain. Well when I say bit I mean a lot, but no breaks, just aching. Surprisingly there's no bruising. Don't get that.

My left arm feels worse :(

Feel very jittery, very jittery...

I hope that by doing this I help someone...


• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

Morphine reduction plan

Morphine reduction plan: reduce morphine dose from 100mg per day to at least 10mg per day (or zero) by reducing the dose by 10mg every two weeks.

Starting dosage: 50mg twice a day (100mg total)

Current dose: 40mg morning, 50mg evening

Okay feeling a little strange, a bit jittery and a bit achey... My left shoulder is killing me, but that's a separate issue and I'm gonna get physio on that anyway. Also I'm gonna get physio on the ankle that locks at inappropriate times. I'm worried about what the reduction plan is gonna do to my mood, so apologies if I get a bit narky at times. Last time I tried this I went all stiff by the second reduction... I'm wondering whether a 3 week interval may be better, but I gotta go back to the docs every two weeks so I'll persevere.

Thought I'd better explain to everyone :) <3


• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

The James Challenge Poem

What you need in your life today,
Is mobile Internet all the way.
With mobile Internet it's win, win, win!
So get your iPhone,
Charge it up,
Then dive in!

Just touch and click on your chosen page,
If there's no 3G it takes an age.
If you're on wifi then so much the better.
Surf not in the rain you just get wetter!
Thousands of websites at a touch.
A quick in and out before it gets too much.

Your e-mail downloaded with a click.
Now slow it down before it gets too quick...
Info, trivia at your fingertips.
Just make sure your finger never slips.

And if you'd like something more stable,
Then use the laptop or MacBook on your table!

Do you really want a life always in touch?
Then put that mobile away before it gets much to much!



• challenge accepted!
• challenge completed!

• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

• written 8 October 2011 at 18:45

Forgive the one you love,
No matter their mistakes.
Trust them to make amends,
No matter what it takes.

Help the one you love,
To see that they get through.
Keep on loving them,
As they keep on loving you.
__________

Lifted on the wings of love,
I look into your eyes.
I see your pupils dilate,
And know you're on the wings of desire.
___________

Here we stand,
Here we fall,
Do we know,
What we are at all?
__________

Find him.
Meet him.
Hold him.
Love him.
Trust him.
__________

I trust you with my heart,
I trust you with my things.
I trust you with my life,
Our love is borne on wings.

I trust you to forgive,
I trust your pure heart.
I trust you ev'ry day,
Our love is like a dart.





• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.

• Written: 8 October 2011.

To Two Special People...

Never change the way you are inside.
Learn by all means,
But don't let it change the essential you.
Your nature is beautiful,
You care for those who surround you,
And for that they love you more.
So never change the way you are,
Because you've no need to change.
You're special...


Dedicated to two very special friends :)

• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated.