The Four Ages of Prehysteria

The Four Ages of Prehysteria

Many people believe that there are three ages of Prehysteria. There are, however, four. These are as follows:-

(1) THE BONSHUS* AGE

The age of large bulbous creatures with little legs, a few creatures called Deanosores which were mainly scaly and feathered angry things that growled alot and were squished by the Bonshii.

Also around at the time were a few people who liked to sleep with their feet tied together by Banana skins. They were known as The Stupid Na-Na people...



* The Bonshus (not to scale)


(2) THE STONED AGE

An age dedicated to the smoking of hallucinogenic substances and the odd stoning of adulterers.

Not much happened in this age, but boy they were very happy...


(3) THE BRONZED AGE

This age is mainly known for the rise and ultimate fall of the Tanning Salon people and the Orange Revolution created by the advent of cheap artificial tanning products... There was something about metal too...


(4) THE IRONING AGE

The birth of the Tefal, Rowenta and Morphy Richards Civilisations along with the invention of the ironing board which led to the creation of Extreme Ironing which virtually wiped out each of the civilisations due to the numbers of Extreme Ironing practitioners trying to iron whilst bungee jumping despite the fact that the bungee rope was not invented for at least another 2500 years.

The Romans finally caused the downfall of the civilisations when they invaded the main cities and banned Ironing Boards.

Julius Caesar is rumoured not to have actually been killed in the Senate but actually in an Extreme Ironing accident. He apparently was a fan of the now illegal activity and the accident involved a pleated toga and a pair of primitive underpants...


• Dedicated to Auntie Gillian, Auntie Sharon and Jolyon Parish.

• All poems written by J R A Gigney unless stated in the title.